I was looking at myself in the shower, and I realized I am always writing about my vagina. It gets all the attention, and that’s a shame, because I have some fucking pretty tits. I was thinking it’s a shame that we live in societies with all these fascist Puritan shirt rules, societies where tits are so taboo that pictures of breastfeeding mothers are banned from Facebook, because really, they are some nice looking tits and I should not be ashamed of them.

I really ought to write a poem about my tits. I could call it ‘Ode to My Tits.’