Even now, I am eagerly awaiting the delivery of my Metazen Christmas ebook. I never thought I would regain the excitement and sense of wonder I felt for Christmas as a small child. I thought, “Those are childish things, Frankie. For adults, the winter holidays are about obligation and guilt and one more year of failure.”

Then I discovered the Metazen Christmas ebook! (And a lovely, inexpensive chardonnay.) It was like a chorus of angels sang “Hallelujah!!!” while dancing in figgy pudding! Or maybe that was an internet porn, come to think of it.

Anyway, point being, the Metazen Christmas ebook is at least as exciting and festive as bizarre internet porn. 

I am secretly hoping that there will be a surprise bonus gift included. Because, Dear Metazen, if you’re listening, I’ve been such a good girl, and this year I really, really want a brony.