sometimes this is what being an atheist feels like

Religion: Hi! I want to put my Jesus in you!

Me: No! I don’t want your Jesus in me!

Religion: With my Jesus in you, you can go to Heaven. You want to go to HEAVEN don’t you?

Me: HEY! I see you trying to sneak your Jesus in me. STOP THAT!

Religion: Hold still! I have to put my Jesus in you or you will go to HELL!!!

Me: ARGH! No means no!!!

Religion: You’ll thank me for putting my Jesus in you after you’re SAVED!